Putting the Pro in Procrastination

Because I am so good at it. Seriously. I should get paid for this shizz. I could give expert seminars on how to procrastinate with utmost inefficiency. And then I wouldn’t have to get a real job.

For example, I started this blog post about an hour ago and I’ve since hit a top score on Bejeweled. GOD DAMN YOU POP CAP

YES I WILL PLAY AGAIN THANK YOU

Since I woke up two hours ago (sometime around 2 pm, aw yeah) I have managed to microwave two hotdogs to prevent myself from starving, drag myself back to the kitchen to get some ice cream (because I’ll be damned if I eat lunch without some dessert) and then fill a mug with 5-Alive and a generous helping of vodka from my bedside flask. And that counts as productive for today.

Damn. I have to be at work in two hours. That entails work. Work is the antithesis of procrastination. All my hard not-work gone to waste.

Good thing I’m such a pro at this.

Edited to add: My sister isn’t helping very much. I was all “eee I have to work AND I have to shower, why does god hate me and why do I have to do TWO things??” and she was like “French braid?” But I don’t have enough hair. But I don’t have to be at work for another almost two hours, so she was like “just stand in the shower for two hours, it’ll be like a hot tub in anti-gravity” and I was like SWEET, DONE. So eventually I’ll get off the computer to go stand in the shower and hope the shampoo will lather and rinse itself.

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