I am not a hipster.

Okay, so I’ve been accused by some of being a hipster (*cough*Alex*cough*) but that accusation is entirely erroneous. I, unlike hipsters, actually like it when people have heard of my weird, self-produced, little-known bands. I darn my socks instead of buying new ones because a) I am poor, and thread is cheaper than socks and b) I like my ugly sock collection, okay?! Stop making fun of them, meanies. And I knit because it is fun. And the only reason I want to start a sewing circle is because my friends are interested in learning how to sew… so maybe it’s my friends that are hipsters. Ever think of that, Alex?!

Anyway, I was sitting here eating dry ramen in bed when I realised that the main differentiating factor between me and hipsters (other than lack of false eyewear and flannel plaid) is that, while hipsters have weird taste in art and music, participate in old-fashioned pastimes, and use outdated technology, they do so ironically. There is nothing ironic about my Sony Discman. I cherish the crap out of that thing. My flip phone is awesome (other than the fact that the battery constantly loses contact; no matter, duct tape is the shizz). I do ride a bike around the city – but I do so carefully with actual respect for drivers, pedestrians, and other bikes. Plus my bike has ten speeds, ergo, NOT a hipster bike. (Side note – I named it Rusty, cratylically.)

So there you have it. Irrefutable proof that, while I enjoy obscure literature and straight-to-DVD movies, I actually get excited when others share my odd passions and therefore am not a hipster. Plus I have sworn to never go into an American Apparel in my life, so, there’s that.

KATE =/= A HIPSTER

Q.E.D.

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2 Comments

  1. i think YOU call Me hipster more often than the other way around
    and i only collect vinyl because it’s exciting to hear the music my favourite artists made as they meant for it to be heard. And my “hipster glasses” are the only ones thick enough to hold all of my -7.5 lens prescription without the threat of them breaking under the enormous weight of it all.
    so we’ll both agree we’re just weird and not at all hipster?

    Reply
  2. Awesome writing style!

    Reply

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